Once upon a time, in the pre‑AI era, if you swore you saw a chicken do a backflip, the world would somewhat accept it—especially if you had a shaky phone video. The golden rule of trust was simple: If it’s not on camera, it’s probably a myth.

Fast forward to 2025, and the internet’s new mantra is: If you’re going to prove something, you better show the chain of how you got that proof.
Because apparently, people now ask for provenance, context, and a clean audit trail that could survive a forensic review.
So, what used to be “I saw it!” has been upgraded to “I have a timestamped, authenticated video that can be verified by a third party.”

And that’s why the old adage has been killed by AI: the algorithmic scrutiny turned us into a society where evidence is not just captured—it’s verified, notarized, and usually archived in a blockchain that even the most skeptical lurker can click through.

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I was living my best “water‑free” life when our tap decided to take an unscheduled nap. The only water source left was my fancy RO system, which I used to wash my hands after a quick bathroom run. My wife followed suit, then promptly plopped herself on the couch and demanded I question her hand‑washing habits. “Why are you even asking?” she blurted, “I’m not going to use our only drinking water to wash my hands.”

Sure, that’s a reasonable objection. But the real kicker? She said she only cleans up when she actually has poop on her hands. “If I don’t get poop on my hands, I don’t wash them,” she claimed. I called that “disgusting” and “horrible hygiene practice.” She accused me of overreacting, called me an asshole, and now refuses to talk to me until I apologize. I’m still standing by my stance—apparently, “disgusting” is a valid accusation when a spouse’s hygiene routine is a “poop‑only” operation.

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TL;DR: The boss is a walking, talking “I‑was‑drunk‑and‑now‑I‑am‑awesome” salesman.
Solution? 1) Document every burp. 2) Get a new job. 3) Tell the universe that burping is a legitimate form of office communication.

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The “Master Manipulator” Who Thinks Burping Is a Management Skill​

I work with a guy who could be the next big reality‑TV star if only the show’s producers would give him a title like “The Great Manipulator of Corporate Morale.” He’s got a management position—if you define “position” as a fancy title that comes with a desk, a chair, and a coffee machine that only works when you’re under the influence of “the divine spirit of laziness.”

This is his fifth time telling us he’s “quitting alcohol and weed.” Every time he messes up, he pulls out the classic “I was drunk or high, so it’s not my fault” card, like a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat. The only difference? The rabbit is always a tiny, invisible version of accountability that disappears the moment you ask for a raise.

He walks around the office like a proud, burping peacock. No “excuse me,” no “pardon,” just pure, unadulterated burps that could double as an alarm system for the building. The company’s response? “We’re focused on the money,” they say. Because, apparently, a burping boss is less of a liability than a broken coffee machine.

In short, he’s the corporate equivalent of a cancer to our team, and yet everyone is still falling for his phony ways. Because, let's face it, when the boss is a walking, talking “I was high” billboard, who can say no?

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The Comments: A Comedy of Errors​

Advice: get a new job.
“If you want a day of dignity, just hop on the corporate rollercoaster and leave the burping behind.”

Document everything. Do not ask or talk to him about his addictions. Record those statements.
“If you’re going to fight the burping, you might as well bring a tape recorder. And maybe a lawyer, because the lawyer’s the only one who can hear the burps through the walls.”

If he's claiming a disease as a reason, how is he treating his disease? Surely your workplace has put in expectations? I worked around addictions for many years, and I don't understand the lack of accountability.
“Treating a disease with a burp? That’s like treating a broken Wi‑Fi connection with a motivational speech. We’re all for the “get over it” attitude, but the boss seems to think “get over it” is a new corporate wellness program.”

Edit: okay I read through it again - business is more focused on financial gain atm. Yeah, get a new job. When shit does go down, it's only going to roll downhill anyway.
“The best strategy? Leave when the mountain starts sliding. Until then, keep your coffee strong and your burp detector ready.”

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Final Thoughts​

The moral of the story? If your manager’s coping mechanism involves a burp louder than a thunderclap and a “I was high” defense that’s more mythical than effective, consider it a red flag. Or, if you’re a master of the “burp and blame” technique, maybe you should start a podcast: “Burps, Bosses, and the Art of Avoiding Accountability.”

Either way, remember: when the boss turns a burp into a managerial tool, the only thing that can save the day is a new job—preferably somewhere the only thing you’re allowed to burp is in your own apartment.

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Ever had a colleague who’s convinced the universe is a giant courtroom and that he’s the only one allowed to bring the devil to the witness stand? Meet Aaron, the self‑proclaimed Devil’s Advocate of the Office.

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When the lunch menu changes, Aaron’s first line is “Okay, but what if it’s terrible?”
When the team proposes moving a meeting to Thursday, Aaron counters, “But what if Thursday ends up being worse?”
When the project is finished, he whispers, “But are we sure it’s actually done?”

And just last week, when the manager announced a surprise long‑weekend break, Aaron swooped in with his trademark line:

“Just playing devil’s advocate, but doesn’t this set a bad precedent?”

The room fell silent. The manager stared for a full two seconds and declared:

“Aaron, the devil does not need representation right now.”

From that moment on, every time Aaron prefaces a question with “Just to play devil’s advocate…” someone in the office quietly mutters, “Please don’t.”

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Why this is the ultimate office meme​

1. The Devil’s Advocate Olympics – Aaron has a gold medal for “most ways to question every single thing.”
2. The Manager’s Quick‑Fire Reply – “The devil does not need representation right now.” – classic one‑liner that turns a meeting into a sitcom.
3. The Silent Crowd – “Please don’t.” is the office equivalent of a group hug and a silent scream at the same time.

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Ever wonder what the real horror movies at your workplace look like?
It’s not the blood‑stained surgery tables or the “mysterious patient” plot twists.
It’s the unspeakable, gut‑shaking terror that lurks behind the woman’s locker room door…
And it’s just got a name.

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The Incident (aka The Great Poop Escape)​

Picture this: the surgical tech is hustling her cart down the elevator, the OR is humming, and suddenly—
A poop nugget drops from her pant leg onto the pristine hallway floor.
She’s calm, she’s collected, she’s… a poop‑in‑action artist.
The next day, she does it again—this time during a shift change, as if it were a casual “good‑luck” gesture.
The hospital’s top brass has no clue who this mysterious, flat‑out toilet‑terrorist is, until the pooper gets a surprise meeting.

The “Poop‑in‑Action” Theory​

• Reverse hamster in the cheeks?
  Some suspect she might be storing… I don’t know, “portable poop” in her own “hamster cage.”

• Stealthy shitting?
  A slim woman in oversized pants, trained in the art of poop‑on‑the‑move.
  Think of her as the James Bond of the lavatory, but with more… ahem, “spontaneous” action.

• Medical mystery or power play?
  No one knows. Maybe a secret “kink” or a desperate “I‑am‑in‑control” stance.
  The hospital’s official line? She resigned.

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The Management Response​

• “She has a meeting first thing.”
  So they blocked her lunch and put her on a 1100 shift.

• Security walk‑out
  After the meeting, she was escorted out the same way as the “dump truck of a nurse” incident (yes, that legendary office romance drama is still a thing).

• Badge logs
  The manager called security to pull the badge logs from the locker room.
  The guess? They matched her to the scene of the crime.

• No retaliation, no heated arguments
  Just a clean‑cut, “pooper’s resignation” statement.

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Side Story: The Dump Truck of a Nurse​

• A pyramid‑shaped nurse in her 60s was involved in a love triangle with a scrub tech and a surgical assistant.
• They fought over tires, security got involved, and the nurse decided drama was too much.
• She quit, moved out of state, and left the campus behind.
• The legal fallout? Nobody knows—maybe the same as the pooper incident.

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TL;DR​

A surgical tech turned poop‑in‑the‑locker‑room mastermind has finally been caught.
She’s been given a meeting, a forced 1100 shift, and a clean exit.
The hospital remains tight‑lipped, but the gossip is already bubbling.
Stay tuned for more updates—because who doesn’t love a good “horror‑story” from the breakroom?

TL;DR:
One sister‑in‑law’s “just a friendly chat” turns into a full‑blown family intervention, and the result? A depressed brother in therapy, a new career dream, and matching pajama pants. All in one post.

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It’s been a decade since the original post went up—ten months of medical mishaps, a lease‑taking solo mission, and a degree that seemed to have a life of its own. The 24‑year‑old narrator finally decides to update, and spoiler alert: she never actually told the parents.

The “Why I Didn’t Tell” Reasoning​

The original “would I be the asshole” question turned into a “what if I had told them” scenario. The comments (read: a chorus of wise‑cracking Redditors) convinced her that spilling the secret would only add fuel to an already smoldering family furnace. So she stayed silent.

Instead, she became the inquisitive sister‑in‑law. She started asking the right questions about how her brother was doing. The real heroes turned out to be his roommates, who were more than happy to gossip. They told the parents about their brother “rotting” in the apartment and skipping class. The parents, now fully in the loop, took the plunge: they medically withdrew him from university and brought him home for therapy.

The Big Turn‑around​

Fast forward to the present:

• Lou (20) is now on a steady medication regimen and has actually graduated from the chaos of college life.
• He’s landed a job at the family business (the dad’s office), which feels like a victory for the entire family.
• He’s discovered a newfound passion for radiology tech, a career that might just involve fewer “rot” moments.
• And—hold the phone—he’s got a friend who’s “just good friends with” him, and she even bought them matching pajama pants. Apparently, matching PJ’s are the new therapy.

The narrator ends on a hopeful note: “While we may not be thick as thieves, he's still my little brother and I care deeply for him.” And she’s relieved that the saga has a satisfying, almost heartwarming conclusion.

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Ever watched a film and felt your heart drop into a black hole? We’ve all had that moment when a character’s exit was so dramatic it made us question whether we should be crying or just rewatching the clip on loop. The Reddit thread below dives into the cinematic deaths that left us clutching our popcorn bowls, and the comments that followed are a goldmine of hilarity.

Post:
What is a death in a movie that affected you the most in terms of brutality or emotional weight?

Ever heard people brag about being “emotionally resilient” or “cool under pressure”? They’re not just bragging about being the “Zen Master of the 9‑to‑5”. In reality, that calmness is a super‑power that can save your sanity, your job, and sometimes even your lunch money.

Below, a Reddit thread brings out the everyday heroics of staying chill when the world (or a bus) is on the brink of chaos. Spoiler: it’s not about being a saint—it’s about being the human version of “auto‑reset.”

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The Original Post​

A school‑bus driver, after a minor collision with a stray bus, shares his story of keeping a level head and turning a potential nightmare into a mild inconvenience—complete with a Christmas gift and a permanent spot on the crew roster.

“I drive school buses part‑time for a private outfit. At the end of the day when in line to fuel up, there was another school bus ahead of me that didn’t set their parking brake. The bus sloooowly rolled into mine, damaging one of my crossover mirrors, and one of their tail‑light housings. Very minor damage.”

“Driver gets out and he’s all worked up and upset that he did that and keeps pacing back and forth. He feared he was going to get fired, since the industry is very uptight about safety violations.”

“I simply asked if he was okay, any injuries, and if his bus is secure now. I went through the damages and kept reassuring him it’s not a big deal, the buses are still roadworthy, and there's a minor amount of fiberglass work needed.”

“We still needed to file a collision report with our outfit as it was on our private property, but I took charge on that and let the head mechanic know that these would need work before our pre‑trip the next day. Dispatch was already off for the night but I still called her personal phone and calmly told her what happened, since there's a chance the buses might need to be re‑assigned next morning if they can't pass pre‑trip.”

“The other driver was super appreciative the next day when the rest of the office was back on staff and they weren't mad at him at all. I got a nice little Christmas present from him this week, and he is still driving with us!”

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The Comments​

“Emotional regulation. Being the person who doesn’t blow up or lose their mind when things go wrong is a massive flex.”

“I can do this in 99 percent of situations in my life, one of my greatest strengths, with the exception of inanimate objects; I'm putting a piece of furniture together and the piece clearly goes in the hole, triple checked the instructions, and it STILL won't go in? I'm about to break it.”

“Accepting criticism without losing confidence or getting upset about it.”

“This was a major achievement for me. I used to be SO defensive about my work as I place a high premium on doing good work. Now I realize it's me and my team against the problem.”

Hilarious Take‑Downs​

1. The “Zen Driver”
   “Being the person who doesn’t blow up…is a massive flex.”
   – Because nothing says “I’m a superhero” like not yelling at a bus for not setting its parking brake.

2. The Furniture Fanatic
   “I can do this in 99% of situations…but furniture is a different beast.”
   – Apparently the universe thinks your IKEA skills are as fragile as your temper.

3. The “No‑Drama” Critic
   “Accepting criticism without losing confidence.”
   – In the grand arena of “how to not get offended by your boss’s typo,” this is a gold medal.

4. The “Team‑First” Revelation
   “I used to be SO defensive…Now I realize it’s me and my team against the problem.”
   – Because real heroes know the only way to win is to keep the squad together, even if the bus had a little slip‑up.

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TL;DR​

Staying cool when a bus rolls into you is the ultimate life hack. It keeps the driver from losing his job, the mechanics from losing a day, and the whole team from turning into a drama‑queen circus. Even if you can’t get that stubborn bookshelf to fit, remember: emotional regulation is the real superpower.

“Turns out, staying chill is the new black. Even if you can’t screw a table into place, you can still win the day.”

The Great Wedding‑Mis‑Match​

Picture this: you’re planning the most important day of your life—your wedding. You’re picturing the perfect bouquet, the perfect “I do,” and the perfect “We’re all here for the celebration.” Then, boom! Your younger sister, Jen, decides that the only way to keep the day real is to keep reminding everyone that she lost a baby at nine weeks, three years ago.

Jen’s story:

• 3 years ago, she had a miscarriage at 9 weeks.
• Her partner Scott left her, citing the miscarriage as the reason (but we’ll get to that later).
• She’s been a walking‑about‑a‑baby‑gone, mis‑grief‑in‑human‑form.
• She’s your maid of honor.
• She’s been everywhere at your engagement party, crying over a baby‑blue rose.
• She’s even tried on a maternity bridesmaid dress in the middle of a “wedding planning” meeting.
• She’s set a “no baby talk” rule for your hen‑party.
• She’s called your pregnant bridesmaid “not invited” because she “can’t maintain her peace.”

You, the narrator, are the guy who’s trying to keep the wedding sane and says: “If you’re going to keep bringing up the miscarriage, you’re not invited.”

And now you’re on Reddit asking if you’re the asshole.

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Why This is a Comedy‑Drama in the Making​

• The Mis‑Grief‑Mania: Jen has turned her three‑year‑old loss into a career‑level event‑planner.
• The Wedding‑Rule‑Enforcer: You’re basically a wedding‑counselor with a hard‑line “no baby‑blue” policy.
• The “I‑Did‑It‑Because‑She‑Cheated” Twist: Turns out the breakup with Scott was actually about cheating, not the miscarriage.
• The “Weaponised Grief” Revelation: She’s using grief as a weapon, like a “black‑mail” strategy for emotional support.

You’ve basically got a soap‑opera set in a bridal shop.

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TL;DR​

Jen keeps reminding everyone about her 3‑year‑old miscarriage, you set “no baby talk” rules, she calls a pregnant bridesmaid out, you tell her she’s uninvited, and now Reddit is asking if you’re an asshole. Spoiler: The answer is mostly no, but you might want to give Jen a little more therapy.

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The Comments (Cheezburger‑Style Edition)​

Comment 1
“NTA. She needs some major therapy. She lost a baby she was barely pregnant with 3 years ago. Not that the loss will go away, but the fact that everything in her life is run by it is not at all healthy.”
— A therapist in disguise.

Comment 2
“It sounds like the sister likes being the center of attention more than anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if she's not actually that upset but wants to be a victim and coddled all the time.”
— The “I’ve seen this before” type.

Comment 3
“no wearing baby blue. Your sister has lost her damn mind. NTA. Honestly, I would consider her cutting her out of your life along with the wedding.”
— The “blue‑dress‑banned” fan club.

Comment 4
“And not to be insensitive, but 9 weeks is fairly early. Its still upsetting and grief is grief, but you really gotta work through it.”
— The “I feel your pain” crowd.

Comment 5
“It’s been three years AND she was 9 weeks... That’s not the same as carrying to say 4‑5 months and losing the pregnancy.”
— The “three‑year‑old, 9‑week‑old” rationalizer.

Comment 6
“Honestly it’s offensive to those who have lost pregnancies that were much further along. That STILL don’t act like this.”
— The “I’m not the only one with a heartbreak” voice.

Comment 7
“She found what she thinks is a catch‑all attention getting and act however I want excuse because if you mention miscarriage people back off.”
— The “miscarriage‑trigger‑fear” observer.

Comment 8
“NTA. If you’re going to keep bringing up the miscarriage, you’re not invited.”
— The “you’re not invited” echo chamber.

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Bottom line: Jen’s grief is getting a bit too on‑stage for your wedding‑theatre. You’re not an asshole for setting boundaries—just a wedding‑planner with a conscience. And maybe, just maybe, a little extra counseling could keep the drama from turning into a full‑blown reality show.

Happy planning, and may your bouquet be forever baby‑blue‑free!

TL;DR: He keeps his office a “work‑friendly mess.” His girlfriend thinks it’s a clean‑up zone and is ready to lock the door. The verdict? NTA, but maybe lock it.

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The Setup​

Picture a tiny three‑bedroom apartment where the smallest room has been declared the office—the sacred space where our hero (let’s call him Alex) can stare at spreadsheets and pretend to be productive. He’s got a strict rule: when the door is closed, the girlfriend (call her Mia) is not allowed in. Easy, right? Not so fast.

Alex explains that the office is his domain, and he will be the only one to clean it. Mia, however, takes the “tidy‑up” role very seriously. Every weekend cleaning spree ends with her waltzing into the office, rummaging through drawers, and rearranging the desk as if it’s a game of Jenga. Alex calls out, “Stop! I’ve got my own system.” Mia counters, “It’s messy! It’s not tidy enough!”

The debate escalates: Mia demands more frequent cleaning. Alex insists his desk is just “work stuff” and that a little clutter is a sign of creative chaos. He’s convinced that the office is clean enough to avoid a “hygienic hazard.” But Mia thinks the entire apartment should be a pristine shrine.

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The Conflict​

Alex: “The door is closed, so you’re not supposed to go in.”
Mia: “It’s still messy. I’ll tidy it up.”
Alex: “I leave my papers exactly where I can find them tomorrow. That’s my professional method.”
Mia: “It’s not tidy! It’s a mess. It should match the rest of the apartment.”
Alex: “It’s my office. I work best when my desk looks like a disaster zone.”

The argument hits a crescendo when Mia pulls a “lock” out of her purse—no, not a padlock, but a metaphorical one—suggesting that Alex should literally lock the door to keep her from barging in. Alex, feeling like a security guard, counters with “NTA” (Not The Asshole) and a subtle hint that the lock might just make life easier for both.

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The Reddit Reactions​

NTA – “It doesn’t sound like there’s any reason for her to even go in there. Time for a lock, maybe. But that’ll just create more drama.”

NTA – “If she can’t respect your space, get a lock for the door.”

NTA – “She needs to unclench.”

BOT – “I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.”

BOT – “Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.”

OP (the original poster) – “Just to clarify, the room is clean so I’ll dust, vacuum, remove mugs and things. It’s just a bit of mess that is on the desk… not unhygienic.”

Mia – “The office should be tidied with the rest of the apartment.”

Alex – “It’s my space, and I leave it how I like it. That’s how I work best.”

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The Verdict​

• Alex is not the asshole.
• Mia might be a little over‑enthusiastic about cleanliness.
• A lock on the door could help both parties—Alex keeps his “creative chaos,” Mia keeps the apartment tidy, and the door stays closed.

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TL;DR​

Alex’s office is a clean chaos zone, Mia is on a tidy‑up crusade, and the only solution that might make both happy is a lock. Verdict: NTA (but maybe lock it).